Rest in peace, budah.

Today has been a really heartbreaking day for me. We had to put down my cat, Edward.
I know because it's a cat it seems like I shouldn't be all that upset, but, to be quite honest- It's like loosing a close freind or family member. I was so attached to this cat it's not even funny.
I think that the most difficult and sad part is that he wasen't even two. It's so unfair. I honestly don't even know how to handle this at the moment. If you have me added on Notemine then you've seen a lot of my recent thoughts dealing with this - I apologize for how many of them there are, but, this is truly tearing me up inside. :( I don't know how to hadle this. It's the fourth pet that I have lost in the past five years. I don't get why this keeps happening. Am I cursed? Like, honestly. gao... I don't know how someone can go through this. I don't know how I have managed to stay as sane as I am. I feel like I should be way past my breaking point, but I'm not. I guess that's a good though, though. Well that's if for now I guess. I think that I am going to make a video dedicated to him tomorrow so I'll post that once I make it, if I do. Thank you to those of you who take the time to read this.


RIP my little mosnter. I know you're in a better place now.<33

here it goes

well, you all know what's been going on (for the most part) so theres no need to go into all of that.

I just wanted to just say a few things, nothing major, but:

I think that we all really need to just being ourselves to reality. We're friends, yes, but internet friends. There is a difference. We need to not be taking this all to heart. Really.
Yes, we all spend a lot of time on the internet, and it might not be that great of a thing, but we have to take responsiblity for the fact that WE are the ones that let things affect us the way they do- even if we don't think we do. Everyone has to have a balance. I am online just as much as most of you but I still have as much of a social life as I want and work (and will be starting college soon). You just have to find your balance. you can't place your blame on anyone but yourself. I honestly do not even see any of this as a big deal at all. I don't know why so many so. It's really not. At all.

No, I'm not worked up as it may sound like I am. I'm not pissed off or anything. I'm just making these statements. I'm being blunt for once.

-shrug- I don't know. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. Maybe I sound like a bitch.
but this is what I think. Like it or not. Like I said on the twilighters boards: if you want to keep in touch with me just let me know. I do like talking to all of you.

new car , new year and realxation.

wow, it has been such a crazy start to 2009 for me! I didn't do much on new years eve (just went to see twilight - again- with a friend.) and then I worked on new years day. Oh, but then theres the second- I got a car from my mom! HOLY CROW! It's a used ford focus. It's not perfect and it's not the most sleek car but it's mine; and I love it! I so wasent even expecting it either. My mom just came home with it and was like "it's yours." Insanity!! Then the past few days I've just been relaxing and thinking a lot. I'm still pretty nervous about a lot of things that will be coming up but I think that if I just suck it up and go with the flow that I will be okay in the end. I have to stop holding myself back from just living. Okay, I'll stop rambling on now ahaha. thanks for reading :]


-Ashley